Every primary intimate relationship will get to a point where we decide we must “work on our relationship.”  Things are just not working out like we hoped.  We negotiate with each other to make some changes so that the relationship works better.  This can be a trick bag.

It sometimes happens that our fear that the relationship is not going to sustain us prompts us to make concessions to the other.  We compromise.  We agree to both lose equally. 

This is not a stable agreement.  No one wins unless we both win. If we each lose equally, we both lose.  We need to construct a set of agreements in which we both win.

This means we must change what we are doing.  The reason for us to change is not because what we are doing is bad or wrong.  The reason to change is because what we do doesn’t create what we need. What we are currently doing isn’t serving us. 

While these changes are structurally simple, they can be hard to do.  They are not easy.  They will take work.  They will take discipline.

The course 10 Disciplines for Healthy Relationships is not about how to get others to change.  And it is only tangentially about getting the relationship to change.  It is primarily about figuring out what changes we can make in ourselves to create what we need in the context of the relationship.

Over the course of ten weeks, we will take one discipline a week and practice a set of mostly simple practices that result in us being more mindful and more skilled at showing up in our relationships in safe and satisfying ways. 

Videos can be found at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLQIDFIZgTA-wYbvqwBEeflQse-Saf6bo or at the page on this site about the 10 Disciplines.

The class will have no more than a dozen students.  There will be lots of conversation and personal feedback.  It will be hard work but what you will learn will improve your relationship with yourself and with others for the rest of your life.

A new round of the ten week class, The 10 Disciplines,

will begin Tuesday, January 7, 2025, on Zoom from 7:00 – 8:30 CDT.

New students can enter the class at any time.

If you have ever taken the class before you can repeat it for free.  If you are new to the course, the one-time registration fee is $250.

The teaching portions of the class are all available as YouTube videos.  Watch them whenever you want or as many times as you want… but be sure to have viewed the ones for a particular class in advance of the class.  The content of the class will assume you are familiar with the material.

Each class session will begin with a brief check-in including a chance to ask questions about the discipline in question, and then each participant will be invited to share how they are engaging with the material.  No one will be required to speak, but the more you participate, the more you will get from the class.

Here is a video introduction to the class.

If you are interested in the class, just fill out this form and Mark will contact you.

And here is the link to the videos.  10 Disciplines